Imagined complexity

Because I need to show more gratitude

• I found out that I do not have a (possibly chronic, more annoying than serious in my case) disease
• They Might be Giants
• Winter = mittens. I like mittens
• Boyfriend has bought my favorite cookies, to be eaten with a good friend later
• The uni minifoodstore sells really yummy cottage cheese+jam cheap now
• The voice of Mick Jagger
  I just finished reading War & Peace. Which means time for funnier books (I have saved up a Pratchett for that very purpose)
• I disappear to a semi-exotic location soon, to appear later

Zen Habits suggested writing a list of the four to five things that are most important in your life, and the restructure your life around these things. Being me, I couldn't narrow it down to more than six, but nonetheless, here they are:

First, I put education - I cannot imagine a life without gaining more knowledge every day, where I do not have to stretch my abilities and grow my understanding of the world. I am privileged to get the education I am, practically for free, and I wish to honor that privilege.

Second, the love of my life. What the boy does for me is more than he can fathom. He brightens my day, and I do not wish to live without him. I hope to explore the future with him, settle down with him and grow old with him.

Third, the wonderful friends and family I have, my social security net.

Fourth, using my creativity, whether by writing, singing, drawing or knitting or something I have not learned yet. This blog is part of it.

Fifth, reading - books are really that important. How can one be bored around decent writing?

Sixth and last, saving the world - or at least the environment.

I am a nonreligious person (depending on when you ask me, I am either atheist or agnostic). Of course, this does not hinder me from needing some peace of mind and some time to simply exist.

Each night, when I am ready for bed, I always clear my desk, and then I lay out clothes for the next day. It has become my small ritual; by clearing the desk I clear my mind of concerns and emotion from the past day, by laying out new clothes, I let my self focus on the next day and simultaneously give myself a good start on it.

I have practiced this for some weeks now, and already feel calmer, more focused. Part of it is. of course, probably du to the fact that there is less stress in the morning from not needing to pick clothes (a bad morning can really ruin the day!) and less clutter to drain my energy, but I truly believe that part of it is the inner peace of mind I get from that small ritual.

The TV is in the house now. It might seem silly to put a thing like this on an 101 list, but we've put this up for nearly a year. The TV is used (of course) and a bit larger than planned. I like it!

In other 101 news, I am gradually reading through War & Peace. I realize that I have to pick up the pace soon, though!
I also realize that I have no idea what I meant with number 86 "Make a paste dessert", so I'll go and change this soon.

I aced my exams. No I didn't just do well, i Aced them. I am still in chock, though I have known this for some time. I have almost been there, a few times but never gotten the straight-A-good-stuff. Really, I know that I have been getting my act together this term (after a slight disappointment in december), but I am really proud!

Oh, I bought something nice for my fist wage, as I said I would! Really, these were soo cute, on sale and in my slightly odd size. (Oh I had some champagne from your shoe...)

In other news, anyone know whet happened to [Unknown LJ tag]

A week of relaxing vacation with very little happening (and thus being relaxing) has just been spent several metric miles south of my current location, and I've come back full of good resolutions and a realization that I will never become a blagging superstar by sitting on my arse (and not blogging. Sitting on my arse AND blagging is an entirely different matter).

So, to have some contents: Read a lot. Made my way through a funny book (the 2 1/2 pillars of wisdom by Alexander McCall Smith) and a crime novel (The Laughing Policeman by Sjöwall and Wahlöö) and started a slightly improbable attempt at War and Peace. Saw a decent production of Hamlet. Was amused by new pop single "Scared of Heights" by Espen Lind (NOT my favourite). The comping is an acoustic guitar and a TUBA. awesome!

Also, real vacation (without parents) is being ordered...

Long time, no post, very little guild. have been working my arse of in exciting summer job (woo, python!) the last two weeks, and in my spare time I have been the only child of my parents, finally returned home. Went shopping, suddenly has wardrobe. V. strange.

Currently, I am looking forward to:

• See Indiana Jones (bambah ram-ram, bambah ram...)
  
• Have some real vacation
• Have birthday
• Use aforementioned clothes
• By something pretty for my first wages
• Sleeping

Am not looking forward to get last grade (though the three first were quite acceptable!)

The shoe mystery in Canada is intriguing!

It is WAY too hot outside - 30 degrees Celcius in the shadow. I have had an exam today, only one more to go, but it feels like I might vaporize first!

Also, I am very tired, for some reason - it feels like I will fall asleep on my keyboard bah. Will draw now, in an attempt to do the artgrind. It is way too hot to study anyway.

The exams are in progress, and so far, with one down and three to go I've done ok, I think (ok, so really I have a feeling I aced the first one, but writing it feels wrong. Oops). I really have a drive to do it well this year, partly because I have some of my last non-math subjects this year, and partly because I need pretty good grades in order to be a visiting student at my uni of choice next year. 
The summer job hunt was sucessful with three offered (woot!) and one taken. It seems interesting and very relevant.

My life at the moment consists of Quantum Mechanics, Wasted Talent, The sims 2 and humming the Indiana Jones March hummed loudly, a lot. I'm going to watch it as soon as the exams are over...

I thought I was easily distracted, with my silent dancing whilst seated in the library to whatever's on the mp3 player, but today I've seen 3 different persons on facebook and one reading a newspaper - in the workspaces, and this was with me not even looking. The library wasn't exactly empty either, there were only a handful of places left - so these people were takng up places that colud be used by more eager students. No wonder it is impossible to find a workspace in school during the exam periods.

Move, people.

I am alone in the apartment for the weekend, so I thought I should try and post something each day.  However, I am too tired to think straight so here goes nothing:

• My breasts are really cold in this top, which has a lot of cleavage, at least for me (I really don't have much to display)
• Microfinancing and Kiva is kinda cool
• I am considering a small building project in my living room...
• ... and starting an alphabet legacy, though I chould finish my properity challenge
• I want a latte. which I have only recently learned to like.
• I also want to go to the movies, or swim or have much more free time that I do. (but I would probably waste it)
  
• We are what we do seems like a nice site.

Toldya it would be random.

On a lighter note, I've done some shopping the past days, that good kind of shopping where I get stuff I want. What I've bought:

• Fables; legends in Exile and Jack of fables (sale at geek shop)
• Sandman, The dream hunters
• Rolling Stones, Beggars Banguet
• Breakfast at Tiffany's and Twelwe monkeys (Sale at record shop)
• Yoga mat

I really look forward to try it all. Need to plan dinner, now.

I had an stress induced anxiety attack this morning. I though I'd shrug it off during my study hour in the library, but it came back during lab work, and had brought mr. social anxiety. Luckily, I had the wits to pop out and take that little yellow pill, so lab was ok.

I hate the way I behave those attacks. I get abusive and mean both to myself and to others, and cannot cope with the smallest amount of stress. Seriously - what first triggered it was that Boy assumed I was ready when I wasn't (I had forgotten to pack some things). I know I have it a lot easier than other people, after all, if I can take a time-out I don't need my meds, and if I do need 'em it is still in a small dose. I'm not depressed, although I have mood swings, and I can take care of myself and do not need to depend totally upon others.

Still, sometimes I just want to be normal. I want to be able to cope with friends doing things without me once in a while, with rushing in the morning and with cooking in a small kitchen. I don't want to scream at people who has hardly done anything or throw things or run away to cry.

Sorry about the ranting.

Went to the gym yesterday, as I do most tuesdays (and other days as well, but I obsess about privacy). Something must have happened to my cardio system. Normally, working out on the "wave" machines (which is sort of fun because I need to keep my balance), I can normally do 45 minutes on the medium levels. Today, without warning, I did most of it on the top level. Like, 30 minutes (I need a long warm up session due to my asthmatic lungs. I didn't even realize I was that high, I was looking around, raising the levels when I felt for it and the looked at the display and went "huh?". Not that I complain...

Not mych else happening, but I get along. A guy sang Tom Lehrer's "Who's next" on a break, which made me smile.

Need to study now. Bayes, here I come.

I hope any readers of this has a nice New Years eve - I will not party myself (I rarely do), but I will drink a congratulatory toast to redscorner.
All in all it has been an eventful year, and I'd like to share some of the better moments with you (those that I an remember):

January: I started having lectures with the coolest maths professor ever, and also received the top mark in my first university math subject
February: Could be around this time I got a lab report at my first try - that rarely happens
March: I looked for jobs a lot. Dull work.
April: One of my oldest friend came to visit and we had a lot of fun, walking through town, celebrating boyfriend's birthday and bathing.
May: First, I got a summer job, and a somewhat career relevant one too, which I did not expect, and then I got an job helping first years with their mathematics in the autumn.
June: Started working, turned twenty.
July: Summer vacations, working.
August: Ate a great dinner at a snobby restaurant, started school again and started the second job previously mentioned. Realized I like teaching
September: I really, really like teaching. Also, we got the offer for the apartment we are now living in.
October: LARGE student festival happened, moved together, went to Travis concert, great.
November: MY team won at a quiz evening. Watched a rather nice Ibsen play,
December: projectdownload/redscornerraised 10K to pay for her surgery. Whilst I was pretty innocent in the happenings, it made me happy. also, general christmas fuzziness.

A Happy New Year to everyone.